THE INTERVIEW WITH GOD

I dreamed I had an interview with God.
“So you would like to interview me?” God asked.

“If you have the time” I said.

God smiled. “My time is eternity.”
“What questions do you have in mind for me?”

“What surprises you most about humankind?”

God answered...
“That they get bored with childhood,they rush to grow up, and then long to be children again.”

“That they lose their health to make money...and then lose their money to restore their health.”

“That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live in neither the present nor the future.”

"That they live as if they will never die, and die as though they had never lived.”

God’s hand took mine and we were silent for a while.

And then I asked...“As a parent, what are some of life’s lessons you want your children to learn?”

“To learn they cannot make anyone love them. All they can do is let themselves be loved.”

“To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others.”

“To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness.”

“To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in those they love, and it can take many years to heal them.”

“To learn that a rich person is not one who has the most,but is one who needs the least.”

“To learn that there are people who love them dearly, but simply have not yet learned how to express or show their feelings.”

“To learn that two people can look at the same thing and see it differently.”

“To learn that it is not enough that they forgive one another, but they must also forgive themselves.”

"Thank you for your time," I said humbly.

"Is there anything else you would like your children to know?"

God smiled and said,
“Just know that I am here... always.”


that was truly inspiring.

chinese new year chu1 er4.
whee. more hong baos tmrw. ((:
molly's, then justin's then edwin's house.
haha. two oranges. cannot forget.

stop eating!! haha. those delicious peanuts and pineapple tarts.
i shall go for a run now. ((:

study study. exercise exercise.
happy chinese new year! start afresh! (:

and remember that God is with you.. always.
(: leave me a tag if you need me to pray for you yeah? i will ((:
God has called me to him. i'll serve society for him.
God bless all of you.

happy chinese new year!
hong baos. more hong baos.

(: i got to talk to my grandfather today.

i managed to sneak to church today.
gosh. even going to church is torturous.

i feel so fat. bleah.
that was random.
i ate so much today. haha.
chinese new year goodies.
tmrw is detox day.


gotta go do homework now.
haha. btw. my cousin's really handsome.

i dreamt of it again.

haha. school has been great this entire week.
i managed to live through the three tests. except... i didn't complete my bio paper.

today i watched liang2 shan1 bo2 yu3 zhu4 ying1 tai2.
romantic. i cried when liang2 shan1 bo2 died. it was simply so touching.
i wish i found such love. BUT, i don't think i'm ready for that yet.
bookies. =D

choir rocks my socks. haha. it's so fun. i hope i can be in choir committee, but like who on earth will vote for me.. c'mon.

whee. cyn coming. that means more pineapple tarts!
more food, more money too.
i can't wait. )): sadly, i've got no new clothes.

haha. choir not singing tmrw, phew.
besides, i don't think i'll be doing responsorial psalm in a long time to come.

i want my violin.
i want my music.
i want math. and any other thing than science.'



do you know...
how bad it feels to be called stupid.
how bad it feels to be told that you can never make it far.
that it hurts to be not able to be able to hear you.
that it is horrible to be banned from the one place you call your home. church.
that i feel like just ending everything now.
but you're holding me back. thank you.
it's you that i live for. it's you that i love. you died for me so that i could live.
now i'll live for you so that you didn't die in vain.

yeah. finally got my study materials. i feel so good.

okay. so yesterday i did responsorial psalm. it was probably the best attempt in my entire life.
and uncle richard told me i did well too!! except for some aspect of my singing.. hmm. my diction?
thank goodness i didn't screw up in front of so many pple i knew.

i'm GOING ON A DIET AND IT'S FINAL.
i keep eating. i feel fat. although i know I'M NOT. )):

church today.
confirmed the legion committee. like finally.
i'm secretary. haha. acting at least.
like everywhere i go. i'm the secretary?
HAH. BUT TO BE ONE. YOUR COMMAND OF ENGLISH MUST REACH A CERTAIN LEVEL. AND NOT THOSE AH LIAN TYPE.

ate meatballs at ikea today. whee. i love them.


gosh. there's an english test and bio test next week. heard that there were THREE! and i dunno the third ONE. like gosh.

collected new specs today. yay.
pastel orange.

anyway. i'm off now.
mug mug mug.
i'll become a nerd i tell you. a cool one?

i wonder. who will ever read the archives?

off to buy some study materials. and i'll be back.

i hope i will be able to use the computer when i get back. thunder and lightning's here to stay!
i pray that there'll be no rain tmrw morning.

school tmrw! haha. can't wait.


back to my imagination.
it's you i want to forget.

school was more fun this week. finally got a taste of chapel. simply inspiring.

haha. decided on choir. and i went for choir induction today. boy was it great. i love IT TO BITS.
hmmm. guess netball wasn't for me. but who knows? i can't tell the future mann.

i'm in TOLLEY. RED HOUSE.
whee. i love red. same as amirah and chloe.
haha. and this girl sandra asked me to run today. haha. i think i'll die like halfway through the distance.

tomorrow's cip.
i dunno if i should look forward to it or not. old folks. haha.

SJI CAMPFIRE TODAY!!!
haha. IT'S THE BEST THING THAT CAN EVER HAPPEN TO YOU!
the dynamics. the enthusiasm. it's all there. you want it. and you get it.
i never imagined any school to have that level of enthusiasm. i take my hat off to them.
especiall the peer support leaders for being able to kindle the sji spirit in those puny little sec ones.

well. another week has gone by. and i guess my Os are nearing. haha. esp this year's sec fours as well. haha. i don't want!!!
nobody wants it i guess.

church tomorrow again.
singing. and PLEASE DONT LET THE MIKE FALL OFF.



i love god.


my books. the world and i. (:

yeah. today has been quite fun.
i took the form for the overseas CIP trip. i don't know how much it is. and i don't want to deprive my parents of SO MUCH MONEY BECAUSE OF ME.
i think it's like 500 bucks.

chinese common test today. i nearly ran out of time. phew. three comprehensions.
yeh.
math test tmrw. i can't wait. i hope i can top the class. i hope. maybe julia will be the one with full marks. GO EAT MORE BRAIN PILLS.
chemisty on friday. wow. so many tests.

all right. i'm obssession-less now.
thanks for waking me up.
thanks for calling me to be with you God.
well.


oh, i saw dom when i was walking back from queensway. i was like waving for so long, and only after SOME TIME then he saw me across the road. cock eye la.

peanuts. peanuts and more peanuts.

was talking to jeanne and rachel.
church is a FUN PLACE. well. i hope it's a good environment to study as well.
i hope i can go there.
I PRAY.


currently, everything i do is in vain.
currently, everything i do is for God.
currently, everything i do is for my future.
you're not part of it.
thank you.







that's bout it for today.

hey
i'm seriously going to cry.
i know "whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger" but i think i'm way too strong already. all these bad things happening to me at one shot.

thanks elvie. thanks rachel. you're my rainbows. =D

well. i just hope that all this is just a dream. and that it never happened.
can you help me God? not by giving me your callings. but hey. people need to do it eh?
a nun? a sister? gosh. me? nathalie rachel fernandez.. being called sister nat?

okay. i don't feel like laughing anymore. i sure dont. ):
i hate everyone who's doing all these bad things to me. why? why? why?
it's all these people who do bad things. they are just jealous that my life is just better compared to theirs.
why? why? why?
my life's just so full of questions now.

NO EVIL THOUGHTS.
REMEMBER THAT GOD IS ALWAYS WITH ME. REMEMBER THE STORY OF FOOTPRINTS.
I'M NEVER ALONE.
I'M GOD'S LOVE.
THINK POSITIVE.


God definitely has something instore for me. i hope i'll be all right.
enough of crap. enough of you. and more of mass.


my doubts that has lasted for four months are finally cleared.
my dreams are telling me what to do. God has called me a number of times. i hope to respond to that call. but i'm afraid to do so.
really. i am.

i want to respond to it. but will all my studying go to waste? will it?
what will i do with my life? ):
i want to wear nice clothes.
i want to have my nice family.
i want to have my five kids.
OR ON THE OTHER HAND.
i can have the entire church.
i can have my true love.
i can have my life in place. sedentary not to mention.


STUDYING IS MY PRIDE.
MY ONLY THING TO HOLD ON TO.
WHATEVER IM GOING THROUGH NOW IS COMPLETE SHIT.
WHATEVER IM GOING THROUGH NOW IS NOTHING COMPARED TO MY OBSSESSION.
SEE HOW STRONG MY OBSSESSION IS?
forget it nat.
it dont last.
studies do.
BURN MY BOOKS AND I'LL BURN YOU ALIVE.


study days.
now till forever

the sun shone early in the morning. and i dragged myself out of my beautiful bed. =(
i was so tired. well, the main reason why i got up was to do cip. HOWEVER, i didn't manage to do it cuz all the places had no vacancies for VOLUNTEERS. and guess what? only the library had such vacancies...
not wanting to do cip at the library AGAIN, i frantically rushed for the phone and dialled for '100' and i asked for SPARKLE TOTS (childcare), GIFT OF LOVE HOME (elderly home) and ST TERESA'S HOME FOR THE AGED.
okay. so i managed to give them a call, and i'll be doing cip next sat from 10 to 1pm! whee. i can't wait. sounds fun.

ended up i went to the library with elvie. haha. we're saturday people.


oh, and today's responsorial psalm didn't go as well as i wanted it to.. ):
haha, only at the end of mass then i noticed a yellow-coloured shirt guy. i can't believe i made a fool out of myself.

ok, here's what happened. when i was about to start the responsorial psalm.. the mic screwed up. uncle monty started playing the organ, and the mic was DISCONNECTED!! GOSH. it was so 'rushy' at that moment because of the surroundings. the wire was twirled around the stand, and i kinda pulled the mic off! whee.


OKAY! I'M FAT. AND THAT'S OFFICIAL. GOSH. ALL THE FATS ARE STARTING TO BULGE. AND I PUT ON 5 KG! THAT'S A HELL LOT!!! I'M NOT GOING TO EAT. I'M GOING TO MAKE MYSELF LOOK ANOREXIC FROM NOW. I HATE FATS. EEEW.
I DONT SEE MANY GUYS WHO KNOW HOW TO APPRECIATE FAT GIRLS.. BUT IF YOU DO, WELL THEN, GOOD FOR YOU.

pyc meeting tomorrow.
legion meeting tomorrw. i hope it ain't the last.
i love church. and i love you.

i know i've always been a strong believer that teenage love don't last. this is just another one of those foolish moments of your life nat... c'mon. i know you can snap yourself out of this entrapped world of HIM. get out. get out.
STUDIES FIRST.
STUDIES ALWAYS.
even if he were to find a girl. oh well. i would have got nth to say...

if you were one of those strangers out there. i wouldn't even be typing this out with you in my mind.

please.
you're all i DON'T need to concentrate on my studies.


had conference with dom, rach and paul yesterday. haha. paul was crapping throughout the entire time.. gosh.
and well, weird-ness occurred. XD
i'm happy. we're all happy.
and DOM is gay, he's trying to steal MY GUY.

haha. today school was fun. although we had a new english teacher again. mann. how many times must we change teacher? gosh. i feel so pissed.

haha. i hope my parents can let me do CIP with elvie tmr.. i wanna do!
whee. i miss her TERRIBLY.

okay. i'm still not getting a phone anytime soon. and i'm quite bummed bout it. amelia lost her phone, and so we're both PHONE-LESS and we're missing them REAL BAD.
oh well. not having a phone means more time on msn. which is worse i guess. haha.

so.. school was all right. and there was a cca fair today. i'm deciding between npcc, netball and string emsemble. choir's definitely ruled out this time cuz i'm already in a choir currently, and i don't wanna over stress my poor vocal cords.
sorry miss ho. haha. i wasted your time at the auditions.

erm. yeah. so i've got loads of homework. and i'm going to stay up today to do it. bio, chem, e math, a math.
CHINESE COMMON TEST ON MONDAY.
gosh. i'm so not ready for it. bleah. failured.

well, basically.. my life has been failured this entire year.. so far.
my cca. my studies (i cant remember a single thing) and my personal life and relationship with God. without church, who am i going to turn to? my friends in school? i hardly know them.
seriously.. i never knew why i transferred. gosh.
i've got no church to fall back on. all my friends are going to lose contact with me.
basically, i'm like a PRIMARY ONE KID now. without a phone (actually, i think primary one kids got phones as well), without a life. and i've got to tell my parents whenever i'm out and wherever i am. (PUBLIC PHONES!) gosh.


i've got ZERO LIFE IN ME RIGHT NOW.
i can't decide. anything at all. i'm so indecisive. fickle, whatever you call it.


had assembly. was fun. but i wanted to see how chapel was like!
nvm. next week.
gosh. it's always like that. i look forward to the weekends, but there's so much homework. and you spend all your time doing homework. and the weekend ends. so there's like not much time to relax.. so the whole thing starts over again.. monday.. to friday. and IT'S JUST A CYCLE OF WAITING FOR TIME TO PASS.
this is quite pointless if you ask me.

chemistry is always 'CATCHING NATHALIE FERNANDEZ' time. miss siti always seems to catch me doing something wrong.
and my bloody practical screwed up somewhere. i got like 10ml more than some pple. GOSH!


okay. so i went to church. and i saw this lady.
she came up to me and started telling me about her life experiences. so i shared some of my insights with her. and she started calling me a professor? just because i could verbalise my thoughts in a clear and articulate manner? haha. mann, i wish life were that simple.
well, i wanted to exercise within that hour, but i guess it was an hour well spent (according to rachel) cuz i managed to spread God's word. which i'm like so completely supposed to do.
but, how can i do it once i'm banned from church? i really dont want this to happen.
i guess this will be my last week in church, cuz i'm doing responsorial psalm. and I HAVE TO DO IT, cuz it'll be utterly irresponsible of me if i were just to never turn up.


right.. i'm off to study now.
it's always the case isnt it?

i must be mad to be blogging right now.
i've got PILES of homework. and i don't seem to be doing it. rahhs.

all right. i wanna complete it and doze off now. like how i did in class.
i wass too tired to listen to what ms lum was saying. besides, i understood whatever she was saying -or at least i hope so...

school was all right yesterday.
had netball training. =D haha. the warm up was all right. thank god i lived through it.
other than that, i generally love wednesdays. no science! TWO MATHS! and to top it all off!! PE! whee.

today was even more fun. except for the fact that it keeps raining non-stop and i'm freezing thanks to the bookshop aunty who keeps claiming that she has ZERO stock for the school jacket. mann. that pisses me off real bad.
i can't wait for Amath. (: mrs khor is so funny mann. haha.
amazingly, bio lesson's not all that boring too. i'm kinda enjoying myself. haha. learnt what tugor pressure is through hangman. not a bad approach i must say.
chemistry was simply disasterous today... i filtered the wrong solution and i contaminated the soulutions! bleah. i can't believe it. and ms siti caught me in the act. mann. i feel like a complete idiot right now. oh gosh.
elective humans. haha. mrs koh -discipline mistress- is teaching me. never knew that dms could be that nice. i simply love her. but i wonder how she'll be like when in comes to homework.. hmm.

oh. and guess what? we take our attendance by scanning our thumbprint on some small little device. so cool. i wonder which other schools have implemented this.. wahaha. but if you somehow forget to scan your thumbprint in the morning.. poof. there you go. A BIG FAT ZERO FOR ATTENDANCE.

my parents are being evil right now.
no phone. no legion of mary. lesser of church. bleah.
i can't believe this. LESSER OF CHURCH? and QUIT LEGION? )):
forget about the phone. but no church? i'd rather die than anything.


btw. i'm enjoying three6. it's so fun!
haha. julia and gushi are good. mann.
kym is simply fun! haha.
nicolle, bel and kee are so nice to me. i'm so blur and they talk to me when i'm bored during lessons.
deborah is so cute! haha. MEDIA CLUBBIE.
haven't gotten to know most of the class yet. but currently i'm enjoying much more than i was a few days back. God REALLY does have a plan for everyone.

btw. all the sec ones know their houses already. and I'M CLUELESS about mine. i wanna go to gage brown or fearon. sounds so cool. haha. cooke and tolley are also all right i guess? haha. anything will do. MANN!! i wanna be house cap. so cool. i want...


all right.
i'm off to study now. i hope i can complete all my work.
i shall go eat some brain pills to make myself smarter. whee.


i'm growing out of the feeling.
however. it stays with me forever.
you you and you.

all righty, i woke at 3pm in the afternoon.
haha. fever subsided. feeling much better. (:

i'm glad there's some sort of a break in between this week.
without the break, i think i'll be as dead as rachel!!!

well, i haven't studied the entire day. and i'm still quite lost about my sciences.

TOMORROW THERE'S TRAINING!! wahaha. and i don't feel like going.
but then again. i might enjoy tmrw's training.
i can wait. i can't wait??


i hope i get a phone some time soon. i can't put up with this misery any longer.
it's getting too much for me to bear. i've probably lost like 30 messages and they might have been hell important.
what if he wanted to smoke again? who'll he turn to?
what if someone wanted to tell me sth impt? how will they contact me?
and gosh. what if i missed you?
haiz. it's all just so impossible to explain.


i miss you.

I MISS YOU.
I MISS YOU.
I MISS YOU.

GODAMNIT.

I JUST NEED TO SPEAK TO YOU RIGHT NOW.

I'M ON THE VERGE OF DYING.

AND I REALLY DUNNO WHAT'S GOING ON RIGHT NOW.
EVERYTHING JUST SEEMS SO BLUR.
UNCLEAR. AND DREADFUL....

HEYS.
IF I COULD JUST TELL YOU HOW I FEEL... I GUESS IT'LL ALL BE ALL RIGHT.
BUT HEY, STUDIES ALWAYS COME FIRST.
YES????????

I KNOW THIS IS EXTREME. BUT I THINK I LOVE YOU...
I THINK I KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING.
I THINK I MEAN IT TOO..

DEAR LORD.
PLEASE HELP ME PASS THIS YEAR.
PLEASE I BEG OF YOU.
MAKE IT GOOD FOR ME.
AND PLEASE.. I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE IN STORE FOR ME. BUT PLEASE HELP ME MAKE DO WITH IT.
STUDY STUDY AND STUDY. =S
I REALLY HATE YOU FOR DOING THIS TO ME. REALLY, I DO.

I'M DREADING SCHOOL
AND IN MY PREVIOUS POST I SAID SCH WAS ALL RIGHT?
WHAT WAS GOING ON IN MY HEAD YESTERDAY?!!

mann. i should have gone to gan eng seng.
i think i would have been better off there... and i would have probably gotten a hot guy or sth.
girls' schools just dont seem to be my thing.. bleah. another two years.
i'm going to kill myself soon.

this post shall bear a theme of HOPELESSNESS and DEATH.
school's hopless. and i wanna die.
i just wanna live DIE.

trees says it'll be all right, mainly because she has lived through it.
and i really cannot cope. it's only the first week of school.
i hate myself for doing this.
i really do...
I HATE MYSELF.
and i wish i would just vanish. not as if anyone would care.
HOWEVER, IT'LL BE GREAT TO KNOW IF SOME PEOPLE WOULD JUST CARE. BOTHER ABOUT ME. AND GIVE A LITTLE COMFORT.

i just need friends.
i feel so lonely right now.
and plus, i've got no phone... so how? no smsing...
I HATE THIS.
GOD IS SO SO SO SELFISH.
but i know it's going to be good for me. but why now?
i guess whatever that happens, happens for a reason. and if this is happening to me.. i guess it's all God's plan.



rachel's eyes were irritated today. poor her la.
hope she's all right.
gosh, i'm so damnit tired right now. i'm going to sleep soon..
i need to study
i need to study
and i need to study.

tmr off to collect money.
i need a phone soon. i'm going to die without one.
i just need to talk to you.
and seriously, i've missed you.

school's becoming all right i guess.
not dreading it as much as before. but i constantly think of elvie, sam, and the rest.

well, i got nominated for class comm, but i didn't make it.
oh wells, at least i'm math rep. (: not too bad i suppose.

should i join netball or choir?? i have completely no idea.
although my heart goes out more to netball..

i've known quite a few more people. and today morning. JOY WAVED TO ME. haha. like finally. she's officially not dao anymore (: she's so damn cute-looking la.


ORIENTATION.
i totally feel like a secondary one student again.

day one. BORING. i didn't want to go to school any longer.

day two. it was MORE interesting. ignite the inferno and amazing race was rather fun.

day three (today). IT WAS THE BEST! haha. we did a skit. and i was the EVIL COCKROACH. like haha. wow. i didn't know i was evil... sec 2/3s were ON. and i am glad they were, if not, we'll just be a complete disgrace. oh well...


this sudden thought just came to my mind. what i got into ij tp? what will i be typing right now mann?? i miss ij. terribly...

oh, and my phone got robbed from me.. i guess i will not be getting a phone anytime soon...

oh well, i've got LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS OF HOMEWORK. gotta finish it soon mann...

HMM. my form teacher seems to dislike me. i pray it'll turn out all right.
from now on. i'm going to prove myself, and i'll be a future HOUSE CAPTAIN! wheehaha.


i'm missing you.
and i'm missing talking to you.
i shall make a conscious effort to pray everyday so that i will not regret missing communicating with you. (:
love, your child.

new school. all right i guess.
first impression wasn't all that good.

study. mug. study. mug. please la.
i must. i really must.

netball trials tmrw. (:
PLEASE DEAR LORD. LET IT RUN SMOOTHLY.
bloody sec ones.

mann. i can't believe im saying this. but. i'm missing stc.

"DONT THINK ABOUT TODAY BUT INSTEAD ABOUT TOMORROW. YOU SHOULD NOT REGRET ANYTHING."

it kinda makes sense doesnt it?

once an ij girl. always an ij girl... (: yeah

3C so damn bloody lucky ass.
got ms sim, mr yeo, mrs leong adn mrs chua... haha. but too bad. kena ms dolley tan.

anw. 3/6 is kinda okay i guess.
got picked on? haha. in the morning first thing already kena.... tsk
i hate to say this AGAIN.. I MISS STC...

commonwealth essay.
crossing the boundaries....
have i thought of what to write? damnit....

friendster is having problems. can't upload the pictures. and i'm pretty sure i don't have time tmrw please!

currently ironing my bro's and my uniform. i love our uniforms. there's a tinge of green in it! (:

i so can't wait for school. 15 more hours. (:
i hope i mix with the correct people... the cool ones? the nerdy ones? the average ones?

i have to stop eating. god damnit.
i'll slit my wrist and let myself die if i eat another piece of chocolate.
it has been 30 days of pure chocolate. damnit nat. your bloody fool.

I HATE YOU NAT!
JUST KEEP THE CHOCOLATES AWAY. YOU'RE DESTROYING ME.
CAN YOU LOOK AFTER ME? GOD SENT YOU DOWN TO LOOK AFTER ME.
-YOUR BODY

NEW YEAR. NEW STUFF.

i wouldnt have known how to get past 2k5 without church life. (:
it's a brand new year.. and i'll be going to st. ignatius more often. hopefully, i can find some cute guys.

my brother, keith fernandez- future josephian, claims that 50% of singaporeans are celebrating their new year in misery because of the rain. like oh wow. i didn't know that.... damn.

started the day with legion meeting.
and guess what, my favourite colours are green and pink! how matching... today's a fateful day..
patrick was doing the candle thingy, and he had to pull it off the stand. oh how cute!!

let me describe to you a scene i witnessed today with my own two eyes.
guy A bought some biscuits, and guy B was a little hungry.
so here comes guy A walking towards guy B.. and then guy B went.. "hey ___, what did jesus say about sharing?"
MANN!! IT WAS HILARIOUS.
haha.

quit smoking. it's the best you can do to your body. i'm glad you're stopping and returning to church. (: i'll be praying for you..

today.
was good.
was fun, because father anthony gave this really great great homily.
was a blast. the acknowledgement of each other's presence made me feel better.
was great because there was loads of FOOD. (:

however, i only ate once.. due to my new years resolutions. i hope i can keep to it.
i just have to train. and eat lesser. STUDY HARDER.

that reminds me, dom and i were talking bout teenage relationships.
haha. i gotta drill it into him soon that IT DOESN'T LAST! NEVER!
that's why, to me, my books are more important to me than anything else.
BURN MY BOOKS, AND I'LL BURN YOU ALIVE!

A math is fun. started off in october. with sets. and until now, i'm only at chapter 3. surds and stuff. how slow can i get?
E math is easy i suppose. the first few chapters.
Bio is getting rather interesting.
PHYSICS, my suppose to be love, is letting me down. i can't remember a damn thing.
Chemistry is still untouched.
my languages are completely hopless. i don't know how i'll cope with it in the year to come.
Social Studies is so History. long essays here i come.
Geog.. i'll leave it commentless.

i cant wait for 3 jan. i want to go to school. real badly. but I WILL MISS ELVIE. mann. if it rains on the morning of 3 jan. i'll be crying my way to school. because i'll miss all the times when she had to call me up when it was raining... and even had to wait for me. (: i appreciate it.

i wonder how school will be like. will i be a complete outcast? will i be a 'pai-kia'? or will i be one of those posers who try to fit in? i really don't know. and i don't think i'm ready to know. praying for the best seems to be the only option left available for me right now.
i wanna train hard. i wanna study hard. i want. i want. and what about i need? i guess the same applies for everything. we want stuff so badly, we forget about our needs...

CAN I TRY TO FORGET YOU?
because my books are overpowering everything i'm doing right now. if i continue dreaming on bout you. my brain will go -SQUISH-.



did i mention i had this awesome dream?
"my dear girl..
nathalie fernandez,
you gotta learn to take things one little baby step at a time.
it's all you need in life. nothing great was ever accomplished without failure.
nathalie fernandez,
you're a great person.
spread my words to those around you. (: you'll do just fine in the youth ministry in church.
nathalie fernandez....
i love you.
from God."

it was this faceless being speaking to me.
totally awesome.



HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
BLOGGING IS OUT OF MY LIST FOR THE COMING YEAR.
THE INVASION OF THE BOOKS ARE HERE!


some pics i uploaded from sentosa.


regina. rachel. i. (:


group photo!


are they trying to kill each other?!


rach and i. the organisers!


wowie! all looking at the crab we caught.


bradley. what's up with the cheeky look?


water pose!


my hand and rachel's face! RACHEL CHEMISTRY.