Brokeback Mountain Trailer

It was a friendship.
That became a secret.

There are places we can't return.

There are lies we have to tell.

There are truths we can't deny.

Brokeback Mountain.

Brokeback Mountain


The song backing up: "What's Left Of Me" by Nick Lachey.

It's a great vid. (:

even the wildest of dreams do come true...
never forget that





(:

During my jet boat ride, I thought of God and how much He loves us, and how come he never hated us despite all the sins we commit.
And it brought me to this question.

Which is worse. LOVE or HATE?

True enough, it's an easy question. However, look deeper into it. Do you see a grey area?? And then suddenly.. It becomes the most difficult question on earth. Love becomes worse than hate and hate becomes worse than love.

I always thought that hate was such a simple thing. But as you grow up, it gets more and more complex. To the point if you don't know whether you love or hate somone/thing.

Take me for example. When I was a lot younger, I thought I hated ____ (this particular person, let's name that person ABC). But someone during my YISS told me, "The deeper you hate the person. The more you LOVE the person."
I got it immediately. If you didn't even love the person to begin with (that would mean that you have no emotions or whatsoever for that person), you wouldn't even bother hating the person.

"True. So completely true. Do I love ABC? Or do I hate ABC?"
It is left undiscovered. This burden... I can't take it.



God. HELP ME.

Healing mass yesterday. It was good.
Saw that cute guy. Yayy. Haha. So full of crap.
Andre and Jillene were there. Larris backed out on me last minute.
Angel, Moses, Jonathan, Marion, Brandon were seated all around me.
Jumped to "INTO MARVELLOUS LIGHT".

Guess we're still YISS high.
CANT wait for next meeting.
YIPEE.

hey yo.

the story of broke back mountain has indeed touched my heart.
never did i thought that gays could have such deep love.
one gave up his dreams, the other gave up his family.
his love was so deep that no one could change it.

who cares about gays.
well. they are human too. they too deserve some rights don't they?

if i can give them a chance. i dont see why you cant.

oh f. i'm addicted.



gays are all right yall.





today's dinner rocked.
edmund was nice to send me home.

Student Leaders' Conference today.
I saw many of my South 4 Cluster friends I made last year, as well as my South 1 Cluster friends I made this year.


MR KHOO SWEE CHIOW (keynote address)

Dare to dream big, we only live once.
Dare to dream, but have your feet on the ground. Work hard for it.
Teamwork plays a vital role in acheiving your goals, when you are in trouble, the only one being able to help you is your partner/team.

ONCE YOU DARE TO DREAM, YOU DARE TO FAIL.
How much more can I agree with that.

Setbacks are important in the learning process, they help us learn from the mistakes so that we can succeed.

We need to learn from the people who are better than us (this is what I call the transfer of knowledge). Learning from them is like a quantum leap learning because we learn faster that way.

Curiosity: Never stop exploring
Creativity: More powerful than knowledge
Courage: Try, fail, learn &try again
Collaboration: Learn from people better than you



Clinic Session Speaker: MR BARNEY LAU

It doesn't matter how smart you are, everyone is entitle to their own views and questions.

FATS of Life.

F - Faithful
A - Available
T - Teachable
S - Stickable

F: Be FAITHFUL to
-your work
-your family
-your friends
-YOURSELF

"It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to hae tried to succeed." -Theodore Roosevelt


A: Be AVAILABLE to
-help your friends
-help your family
-help your community
-serve the nation

"Once, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.
One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.
As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.
He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?"
The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean."
"I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man.
To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."
Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!"
At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, "It made a difference for that one."
-Mr Loren Eiseley


T: Be TEACHABLE
-Be willing to learn
-Don't be afraid to make mistakes
-Learn from your mistakes

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moment of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -Martin Luther King, Jr.


S: Be STICKABLE
-stick to what you believe
-don't let go
-Take risks

Mr Barney Lau shared with us that he stuck to wooing a girl for 3 years, and she's finally his wife. WOW. Truly inspirational.
"If you find that that's the person, stick to it." -exact words from his mouth



Mr Martin Tan (youth leadership)

"He who thinks that he is leading and turns behind to see no one following is merely taking a walk."
This is so true.. To think I actually know of people like that.

You and I will all DIE one day.
What do you want written on your epitaph one day??

This is what I want written on my tomb.

"She LOVED with the greatest LOVE anyone could have ever given."

301st post.

Dinner for the 25th Anniversary of Diplomatic Relations btw the Republic of Singapore and the Holy See.

Venue: Meritus Mandarin
Time: To be seated by 1920
Date: Fri, 23 June 2006.

How cool is that?
I'm going for it.

Praise God.

I LOVE HIM.

Thank You 4 Loving Me!!

I'm like spiritually high right now. So here's a video clip. Jesus loves EACH and EVERY ONE of us.

COOL HAIR dude.


group AMAZING.


WRONG shot.

RIGHT shot.


chris and lynette. cute couple.


I LOVE MY ROCKER DUDE.


rock on.


gay moment. they were happy (:


TIRED is a good thing when you're sitting on this red couch.


smart smart jonathan. he goes to vjc.


see what see?


lynette rocks my world.


brilliant facil.

Camp experience.
It's one of the best ever.


Day 1
I went in expecting it to be a little boring. Looking at the venue. It was dark and dim.
I stepped into the session room for the first time. I didn't like the smell of it. I told myself. "That's it. I'm better off dead."

We started off Day 1 with mass and sharings.
Had games and we played amazing race.
End of Day 1.



Day 2.

The CLIMAX of the day was at night.
It was time of reconciliation.

"Give it all to the Lord. Give him everything. All your pain your sorrows, your anguish. All you have lift it up to him."
I tried.

I was ministered to by Cassilda. Healing took place deep within my heart.
She had a vision of a ROCK.
She prayed over me. I broke down. I know I cannot bring myself to forgive him. But that night. I told myself.. I WOULD. And I'll be free from this sorrow of mine.
I'll place it all at the foot of his cross. And surrender my entire being to him.
"WHAT on earth could a rock mean? Was it my heart? Was it my soul that was a rock?"
I didn't understand. The only one who knew the answer was God.

I was hungry for God, but I knew I wasn't asking enough. I had to be STARVING for God.

That night. All I felt was God's forgiveness, love and presence.
However, there was a mental block in me. I wasn't giving my all to him.
I was too self-conscious.
I didn't force myself any further.



Day 3.

Again the CLIMAX of the day was at night.
It was time of outpouring of the Holy Spirit.

Before the session. During Quiet Time.
I spoke to Antaeus. And he completed my incomplete puzzle of faith.
He was amazing. His words just filled my mind and I could feel God talking to me through him.

During the preparation of the outpouring of the Holy Spirit.
I managed to clear my mind of all distractions and I finally felt God's ENTIRE BEING with me.
I was slain when the eucharist was brought in, without anyone around ministering to me. Suddenly, the Holy Spirit filled my mind, body and soul from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet.
I felt at rest. Conscious of what was going on around me, I wanted to get back up on my feet. However, I felt restricted and I knew immediately it was the Holy Spirit.

"Come Holy Spirit. Fill me up inside with your warmth. Fill me up inside with all I need."

Apparently, according to Moses, I fell flat on my face. And the force could have caused my spectacles to break.
Praise God, my specs are still around.

The facilitators came in after my first resting in the H.S.
I was prayed over and I felt that I didn't desire for the gift of tongues. Thus, I didn't receive it that night.
I was so tired of trying. I felt heavy and I was slain for the second time.
I felt quite disappointed because I thought that I would have gotten it since the H.S. has already touched my soul.
"Why then didn't I get tongues?"
"I didn't desire it enough." Someone told me.

And for the third time. They asked people to step forward to be prayed over. I stepped forward. I wanted the gift of tongues, but I (not conscious) didn't desire for it.
I felt tired but I could feel the H.S. working wonders in me. Filling me with peace and taking ALL my hatred away.
And for the third time I fell.

My soul was exhausted yet filled with happiness.

I left the room to go to the toilet. Me, being scared of the dark. I wanted to run. However, I didn't. I felt someone walking beside me. It was Jesus.
(:
I talked to Him. Although many would have thought I was talking to myself.
Cool Time with God.
And once I re-entered the room. I felt Him leave me alone and enter the room filled with the H.S.



Day 4.

Freddy gave a session in the morning.
He asked. Who can speak in tongues?
I didn't raise my hand.
He asked again. Who cannot speak in tongues?
I raised it up high.
He asked. Who wants to speak in tongues?
I was afraid. I didn't raise my hand.

After much persuasion from Antaeus.
I went. The words he said "I'll be here behind you."
Faith gathered in me.. and I stepped forward.

Murphy was there to help.
"Do not analyse. Do not analyse."
I didn't and I received it. Baby tongues.

Christian came down.
And one lesson I learnt:
When we are weak, God is strong.
When we act strong, God will not be able to work in us.

We are the ZEROS. And he is the ONE.
If we all stand in one line, it'll always remain a ZERO.
However, if he stands beside each of us.. it'll be a 10. PERFECT 10.
Without him, we'll remain zeros.

Felt really sad to leave my friends and the camp.

This personal encounter with God has definitely changed my life.


If anyone hesitates about going for Y.I.S.S. (Youth in the spirit seminar)
Please don't bother thinking twice.
It's the best experience you can ever have with God.
You would just thirst for Him SO SO SO bad. You never want to leave him again.



People I would love to thank in this camp.

ANTAEUS! (: He was the one who lifted me up when I had doubts. My pillar of strength for the camp. And he was the one who comforted me and assured me that he'll be there. (:

LYNETTE! My temporary girlfriend. A great facil who was fun and enjoyable. She shared her insights with me. And i definitely learnt a lot.

group AMAZING. For being there with me. Through all the group sharings which I love SO much. Although I might have been a little long-winded.
Joavan. Brandon. Moses. Joshua. Freda. Emmanuel.

Rachel, Marie, Freda. My roommates. Who were willing to make friends with me.

The other group people. Larris. Angel. Benedict. Patricia.

The rest of the service team who made a difference in my life.
Grace, Qingquan, Cassilda, Leonard, Justin FERNANDEZ, Freddy, Dominic, Carol, Bernard.

How To Not Get Your Ass Kicked By The Polices

FUNNAYE

The Time of our Lives MV

FUTBOL fever.

Off for camp tomorrow. YISS.
Hope my group's nice. Heard I ain't in the same group as BF.


nice background.



Girls of pre-con 06.


This is what happens when Father gets TOO BORING.


Malcolm ain't in the middle. He's at the side.


I swear Leslie was trying to bowl with a soccer ball.


End the camp with smiles!

Just woke up. And I started thinking about physics and the assignments we have to hand in.
And it hit me that for our report... There was this instance when daohui had to stay in school, while I rushed off for church stuff.
It was rather rash of me. But she said she wasn't angry although she normally would have been angry..

Was it the prayers that worked? Was it God that touched her?
I wonder.

Just a passing comment.


Youth Assembly at St Ig's yesterday.
Saw Gabriel, Germaine, Hannah, Selena.
Oh yes. And sherman told me JUST YESTERDAY that he was flying off to Australia.
So much for being his daughter...
Well, have a great flight.



Nat wasted her morning.
Off to school

OMFG.

I can't belive I spoke like an Ah Lian two years back in sec one.
And I was an eff-ing bent.

OH GOD. SHIT MANN.

I hate to accept reality. But someone's gotta do it.


Groundhog Day rocks mann.
Bill Murray. Non-stop comedy.

hey bradley and steve. thanks for that wonderful chat I had with you till about 11pm.
haha. It was great. finally managed to get some things off my head for that moment of time.


combined prayer meeting tmr. cant expect anything great to happen.
except that the turnout will be good.

Youth Assembly at St Ig's on Sunday.
Wonder what it'll be like...


Okay. so i betted with eugene. Germany wins 1-0.
I dont know why the hell i just did that.


God bless me.

pre-con camp was great.
I hope the pre-confirmants learnt something out of this camp.

My group was great.

Amelia, Charlene, Edumund, Jeremy, John, Malcolm, Melvin, Natasha, Quincy and Richard.

The girls were great. I had great fun with them.
The guys.. Although they were a little noisy, they were great.
Edmund and John were quieter compared to the rest.
Jeremy, Malcolm and Melvin (all of which are from st. pats) ARE ALOT NOISIER.

I hope not ALL ST. PAT'S guys are like that.


If I could ever facilitate again. I would never regret it.

Although I gave up my ONCE IN A LIFE TIME OPPORTUNITY to go for Camp Jeremiah.. I hope that I still did the right thing by helping out in pre-con camp.

I wish that they would have been touched by me in one way or another.


The rest of the facils..
OH mann. I feel so good working as ONE TEAM.
I never got the satisfaction of teamwork till now.
Antioch has taught me something about teamwork.. And i appreciate that lesson.


PRE-CON CAMP.
If I could turn back time, and re-do something. It would be pre-con camp.

We're all born winners.

Out of all the millions of sperms that were present in my mother's womb..
ONE of it won the race

And yes.
I WAS BORN.



I'm NOT A LOSER.

SO SHUT UP.



and yes.

It's human nature to take people for granted.
But should you be given a second chance?

oh yes.

Looking back at my pictures..
the bloody hand...

I WOULD LIKE TO THANK MY BRO FOR ATTEMPTING TO DISTRACT ME.
MY DEAR DEAR IGGY.


THANkYOU.

ai si ni.

breakfast at holland v. With Gen, Jac and parents, Eugene, Alex, Steve, Liz.
(: ate chicken rice.
shiokness.

haha. this was what eugene looked like during breakfast.

see those PRETTY EARRINGS?

what were steve and eugene looking at on the third floor mann?



Went to catch a movie with steve, liz and alex poon.
Alex was nice enough to get hold of my wallet and return it to me today.
THANK YOU ALEX!

Steve got into an accident yesterday.
GOSH. His poor hand.

Attended mass at st ig's.

saw gabs, david, chris, NIC, sophie, bernadette, issac.

GOSH.
HOW I MISS THOSE PEOPLE.


CHURCH SICK.




LONG GONE.

moving on to someone new.

yar. back from all the camps.


Kids' Camp.

I LOVE GROUP JOY!
eugene and the rest lah.
basically. they rock.

ZOO-ing WAS FUN.
I LOVE THE ZOO.



DOTS CONNECTION CAMP

sec three camp rocked. what was most memorable was kayaking.
I nearly capsized dao. XP

We made our raft "Titanic" FLOAT. We changed history.
It looked as if it were going to collapse any moment.



Science Trail Competition.

WE DIDN'T WIN.
VICTORIA SCHOOL CLINCHED TOP POSITION.
YARRRR. so irritating.



Facil's Party

Went to Gen's house for facil's party today.
IT ROCKED.
There was a pool. There were tons of food.
Lasagne, sausages, onion rings, chicken wings, and MUCH MUCH MORE.

I was the third to get thrown into the pool.
COOLIOS.
There was a slide, and i kept sliding in!! (: WHEEE.
We tried SO SO SO HARD to get sangar into the pool... and finally after 8 attempts. WE SUCCEEDED.

"SINGAPORE IS A DEMOCRATIC SOCIETY. YOU DO THINGS UNWILLINGLY OR WILLINGLY."
That was an extract of what the SJI guys said.. when they tried to get people into the pool.

Saw Gab's room. It's SO SO SO SO COMFY.




that's about my week.
LONG and.. TIRING.



OH GOSH.
WHY WAS I SO BLIND TO HAVE SEEN YOU THE WAY I HAVE FOR TWO YEARS.
bloody mofo.