todae was a day, a normal as usual. but todae something made me damn touched, i was like trying to collect the lit paper, everyone ignored me as usual then i wanted to cry liaoz, keep thinking that i din do my job properly.so i got damn sad, juz 'ran' out of the class. at least i've got friends who care, pple like vinee,laura and celine(you're mine!!). well, they rawk mann.. they actually followed me down. later they were like asking me to go back to the class. but i din, so i went to the toilet. there was this girl in the toilet who pierced her tongue with a thumbtack. crazie siaz. after that i came back to class. i din dare go in. celine and vinee were like pulling me in. finally, i got in and then the whole class went "Sorry Nat", i started laughing and stepped outta e class, actually wanted to cry liaoz. but then dunno who say dun cry because you are too happi or something like that.. haiz, couldn't catch those words larhx. then later they saed "We lurve ya Nat" i wanted to cry even more.. well yeah, that's about it..
oh yeah, laura, sorrie i made you fall and feel like you are a flirt.. *hehex, i dun feel like one though*
oh yeah, todae got the total for lit, it was okay larhx, actually quite happie i passed!! i got 57, it's like damn high. but jaime, peixiu and sam got higher than me. haix. sad sad. dun care larhx. omg, cant believe i passed history too.. but yeah i dun think i can get top 10 in class this time round, my stewpid chinese pulled me down. dun care already.
i slack this term, but i gonna beat YEW next term. (to someone)
oh yeah, todae i was like damn pissed with the lit project thing, so me, shi hui and sam went to complain to ms koh.. she trying to be biased larhx. yun ying's grp hand up so late, then they still get so high. i tink they got 14 still. *sighs*
i tink the top five will be shi hui, sam, vanessa, elvira and alyssa peter.. yew all rawk mann.. i will try harder next term and it's a promise, that means i will be neutral, dun pontang trng, dun pontag tuition and study four hrs a day. whoa. tat's a lot of sacrifices. but hey, i need to work harder, ms oon is catching up. me and jaime is not happy about it..
todae's math lesson was damn fun. we wasted a lot of time and it made me happier.. well gotta go now
keep you updated
PEACE!

heyz, well this is a message to ALL people: Never tell me i am lame, cuz i know i am!! it kinda hurts me when you say that. i mean, people talking about stuff you already know and you are thinking about it in your head all the time.. it's kinda irritating.
well, todae's lessons were okay. i think i failed my science overall. sobz. well, I WILL BEAT SAM CHUA. whether others like it or not. i really hope my chinese can pull me up. hehex. nothing really happened except that alot of people irritated me. first my mama, second my bro, third nicole, fourth yun ying and fifth sam chua. i tink i have a serious case of PMS. i really dunno why i am in such a grumpy mood these days. is it because of my monthly thing or is it because of my CAs. i am really confused.
todae had training in school, din go down to the pool. we had to lift like so many weights. thank god we went later thanks to that dunno wad chinese programme we had at the auditorium. now my muscles are aching and aching and aching. well, if i can walk properly tmr, it will be a miracle. really feel like sleeping now.
well, after training, i fell a horrible fall. infront of the general office somemore. it was damn paiseh. but heck larhx. let them laugh. at least i made some pple happi today.
it was only last month that i was put on this earth to make pple happi. now i am put on this earth the be a lamer, idiot and to make pple sad. it's tiring making pple happi. :'(
love is not meant to be kept in the heart. both muz be open and that is when both hearts feel the warmth of giving.
this is to someone out there.. dun return my love. never do it. i am juz a hopeless freak. never say i'm lame. but you can say that i am an idiot. NEVER SAY I'M LAME.
and to nic.. i am jush a crk. accept that fact mann. dun try asking me to be straight FOR NOW. i hate creatures with dicks.
and to yun ying.. please dun try to make my life miserable. it's horrible enuff.
well that's about it.
nitez.
*still has lotsa homework to complete*
lurves yew..
dun return my love.
i know you wun.

today was really bad. had art class. madam mas had to 'flatten' my hair. she said that i wanted to join the 'spiky head community'(bung). then we had the conversation which really got me pissed. she said she thought i was in hockey cuz all those pple had spiky hair. i mean it's my life and i can do wad i want. so juz get out!
haiz. and todae i lost 24 bucks. so muchh. haixx.
todae i stayed back and help my chinese teacher to tabulate all the marks for chinese CA2. it was not really well done. but yeah, i would like to congratulate all those who passed. actually, i wanted to cry for all those who failed chinese cuz i really hate to see pple fail, that's why i try to help them (although sometimes i DO regret)
well, gotta go. wanna sleep, otherwise tmr cannot wake up and go for that bible study thingy. hehexx. todae woke up at 7 am. so late. my mama say she wanted to teach me dunno wad lesson on waking up early. crapz.
wadever larhx, anyway, gonna go off now.
byeezz.
i have completed on 25% of my mission.
i mite go back to 0% anytime.
well, nitez!

todae was not realli bad. it was actualli quite fun. had three photo shoots. one for swimming, one for my class.. and the worse of all - legion of mary. well, today got to skip math class, i was damn happi!! well, now starting to like math a little (i PRETENDED to like math last time). but yeah, i admit, i wun get top in class this time. i think it will be shi hui, her group got 10 for the math stats project. damn jealous can. i only got 5. but heck, those are the results yew get when your group doesn't want to work with you and you have to do everything yourself. shi hui totalli rawks in math. she got full marks for her math file too.. well, let's juz drop the subject of math, it's starting to kill me.
hehex i also got to skip half and hour of chinese lesson for the legion photo shoot. and during the other half of chinese, cai ying hua forced me to stand up and read. it's like i have reading problems, i need to hold the book damn close to my face.. only for chinese words. toking about legion, I HATE CURIA
let's go on to the photo shoots. for swimming it was damn funny cuz the lady was like asking shan to move her legs closer together. hahax. the same happened to one of my fellow legionaries, i wun say who. it's like the worst thing that can ever happen to you - sitting in the front row.. for my class photo. 3R juz had to be there. dun tok about that class liao. continuing, for my class photo, it was like damn formal. but for the fun shot, i turned a lil' crazie, i dragged yun ying along to sit right in the front with me back to back. hahax, can't wait to see the photos. juz hope i don't look like an idiot. but even if do look like one. it's who i am. -an idiot
well, todae i went for chinese tuition, had to add additional hours cuz she say i did very badly. what the heck larh. it's actualli quite good already, being able to pass chinese. i am not pure chinese siaz. and oh yeah, i passed my english compre!! damn happi. i added another mark, but juz when i had to add one more mark, she has to too. forever getting higher than me.
it's like my mom is now adding UNEEDED pressure on me. the CAs are over, why can't she juz chill. i am actualli very contented with my marks liao. my mom is the one. i really dunno what to do. everytime i try my best, i don't get the results i want, and i feel as if i've not done my best. well, i failed my lit. only got 8/24. i couldn't cry so i decided to laugh. i THINK i told my mama my marks liao. she seems to be treating me differently nowadays. she even threatened to kill me with a knife juz three to five days back. i was juz standing there, staring at her and she staring at me. i cried a whole lot juz before i went to sleep. forget about it. it's all in the past. i still lurve my mom. but i can't lurve my dad anymore. MY BRO IS THE BEST!!
going back to my day, we got to skip lit class because we had the class photoshoot. it was damn good!! but yeah, still thinking about my lit results. and she got 17. not jealous. juz hoping to congratulate her. did not have the chance to do it. i will definitely lose my class position to her and there goes my pocket money. mama's definitely gonna cut my pocket money. i'll juz go hungry. i dun really care. i dun digest any of the food anyway.
she totalli rawks. trying to get her outta my mind. i promised her. it's gonna take long mann. oh and i saw her sis in the toilet todae. she was exiting the toilet when i was entering and she turned and gave me a very short stare. i pretended to ignore her of course, now come to think of it, her sis is kinda scary. hahax.
i am planning to give up on the class liao.. these plans have dragged far too long. if i could hand it over to someone, i would choose shi hui. actually was thinking abt sam, but some pple say she sarcastic. i dunno larh. confused now. seeing the state i am in. i dun take pity on myself, but for my fellow classmates!

This is going out to all the one deirdreans who read this:

i think you people rawk. if i ever did anything that made you all angry or unhappy, please forgive me. i am also human, i suffer from teenage stress too. and to add to that my mom is expecting much more from me. my family is biased (i am serious) they hate girls. but yeah all the same i would like to say you people rawk forever in my heart. *tears rolling down my cheeks* especially one..

yoz.. well this week i felt damn sad..
u know it's like everyone is ignoring me..
oh and the worse thing is, i ask some pple some things, they dun answer.. *sighs*
i am very sad..
it's like i can't get her outta my head.. the attitude she shows me is like she's saying that only when you stop liking me then i will start talking you.. it's difficult to forget someone..
"it takes a minute to like someone, an hour to love someone, but a lifetime to forget someone"
it's difficult!!
now i'm forcing myself to stop liking her.. compressing my feelings..
it's like after liking her for 3mths and 2wks.. i have to stop.. haiz..
well, it's life.. everything that is happening now are facts.. i juz have to accept them..
u know it's like she's in legion also, there is no way i can avoid her.. that's e only way to 'forget' her..
oh gosh and worse of all.. jaime promoted band to me.. and i wanna quit swimming to join band.. pple might get the wrong idea and think that i wanna join band because of her.. i am dem stressed now!! the world doesn't revolve around me and it's a fact!!
sam, i juz wanna tell you that you rawk my world.. juz hope we can talk like last time.. you seem to be ignoring me now and then.. it's saddening.. you are one of the 9 friends i love.. please return that love by talking to me..
1.my bro
2.sarah
3.sam cheong
4.jaime
5.pei xiu
6.alyssa chua
7.elvira
8.alyssa peter
9.yew!!.. sam..
well there u have it.. the nine friends i lurve..
okie.. i really gotta go now..
i have to STOP liking her.. really hate complusion..
~nat
thinking of her.. and at the same time trying to stop liking her..
(i mean it's stupid, feelings can't be compressed)
I will achieve it!!
juz wait and see everyone.. i am not as hopeless as you think!!

well.. haha.. i am totally over cornell... yay!! three cheers for me!!!
now.. i like sam, my classmate!! omg! can't believe it!!
wanna turn bung now.. going for a haircut soon.. well goodbye!!
~nat.. likes her..
rachel and sarah was here..