the adventures of me and sam!!

friday was the best day ever.

started off with training in the morning.
it was quite slack.
had loads of endurance training. very very slack.

later had to go to school to collect report book.
not letting my mom see it, lest i get grounded.
i think it's very good. she is never satisfied.
damn.

met sam later.
had a blast together.
went to subway to meet her and her friends.
her friends are funny.
oh and they got freaked out when they saw my math paper.
so funny la. couldn't help but smile.

swensens.
talked. talked and talked.
bout alot of things. everything.
guys to frienships to us.

walked one stretch of town.
got lost. continued walking..
then we saw heeren. walked again.

and then later went home. not my home of course.
sam's.
i've been to telok blangah heights before, but never block 88.
it's nice mann.
haha. i've been to block 69. not as nice.


ok. this is what happened in her house.
i explored her stuff. her wardrobe. and its all so neat!!
haha. alot neater than mine.

i finally saw how hari looked like. it's just hot minus the looks.
plus he's in hockey. how cool can that get.
good old hockey. never let's anyone down does it?
ok. saw daniel in the yearbook as well. he's handsome.
damn. i want a guy like that as well mann. handsome handsome and handsome!
i'm not blind.

i tried to take a few photos of myself. i felt vain.
and because i was complaining. sam offered to help me take but i insisted that she didn't do it.
i'll feel shy la.
hahah. and in the end. she took one really really cute photo of me. lying down. covering my eyes.
so funny la. i was laughing till i was on the verge of crying.
ecstatic.
---------------------------------

damnit. i'm stupid.
i don't think he's oblivious to the fact that i DO like him. or maybe he is.
i can't like him. i just can't.
bloody hell. i wanna say it. something's holding me back.
teenage relationships don't last. most of them don't anyway.
other than justin and eileen. it's just so sweet, the both of them. one 14 and the other 19. they met. they fell in love. and now they are a happy married couple.
it could never happen to me. i am not degrading myself. i'm just facing reality.

is it wise to do so?
or is it plain stupidity?
memories are good.
but good things has got to come to an end.
now that's the hard part.
letting go of things that i love.
and then.
it suddenly feels blank.
i've been through it.
only a few know.
i often deny the fact that i did have an ex.
because i wanna stay innocent.
oblivious to all the hurts and pain that all these can bring.
i'm straight. 100%.
never was crook.
never want to be crook.
damnit.
i feel vulgar now.
it's not really the correct time to say anything.
---------------------------------

well. my life is completely screwed up now.
i mean it's the correct time.
after exams. so i'm not really hating it.
life was never meant to be smooth. if not, there'll be no fun at all.
friendship crisis.
i think he's angry with me.
i don't think so.

thanks for being there for me joavan.
without you. i'll be totally lost.
my pillar of life and strength.
and sam.
thanks for just encouraging me.
never disbeliving in me.
never doubting my ablities.
and my other two good pals.
elvira and reuban.
mann. i wouldn't know what to do without you guys.
life will be just boring.
whatever it is. i treasure all of you.
---------------------------------

one week break.
it has helped me alot.
to reflect.
to relax.
and to put on weight.
i'll start my hectic schedule again next week.
studying, working, and.. shopping (what a contrast!)


ok, pyc mtg tmrw.
wanna catch some sleep now.
yeah..


this was a rather long post.


je t'aime.
from nathalie.